Restored to Sanity

“Our insanity was evident as we repeated the same behavior over and over, yet somehow expected different results.” Life with Hope, 3rd ed., p. 7

***

When I first entered the rooms of Marijuana Anonymous, what I wanted to know was how I could control my using, keeping it to parties or simply on weekends. The truth was, I wanted to know how to be happy and free which I had associated with getting high. The irony was that marijuana had not brought me any happiness or freedom, but rather pain and suffering at the end of my addiction.

The rooms of MA showed me a way out of this insanity and a new way of life. The program made me realize that marijuana was a means to an end, it was a desire to be free from the pain I felt inside. Working the 12 Steps, making a personal inventory, letting go of my character defects, and making amends for my past mistakes provided me the time to face this pain and move towards a life where I can be happy and free.

Final thought: Today I remember the insanity of my addiction. I remember the pain of running away and remember to take a personal inventory, and when I am wrong, promptly admit it.

From "Living Every Day With Hope", the MA Daily Reader.
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